Misguided: Modern Christians Aren't The Heroes We Think We Are

Introduction

My brothers and sisters in Jesus, this is not a post I wanted to write, but I can no longer keep silent. What I am about to write may not apply to you, but I'm certain you know someone to whom it does. We need to talk about a 5-ton elephant in the room.

Christians, especially American Christians, are not the heroes we believe we are. Not even close.

If your first thought is “I’m definitely not the problem,” it’s almost a guaranteed certainty that you are, in fact, mistaken.

I have stepped outside of the bubble. I walk the wastelands and rub shoulders with the lost and the hurting. My job is much, much harder because of the actions of fellow modern-day believers and the soiled past of the Church. Keep in mind that I'm guilty of some of the behaviors I will be discussing, so there will be no self-righteousness or double standards here. I only desire change.

The Problem

Before I start defining the problem, please allow me for a moment to give you a bit of my own background. I am a middle-aged white guy living in a larger town in Ohio. I am married, have two children who are almost ready to fly the coop, and work in IT. When I was 17, I laid down my life, chose to follow Jesus, and never looked back. I grew up in the United Methodist Church, but as an adult I have belonged to churches in a variety of denominations: Baptist, Assembly of God, Church of Christ, and Christian and Missionary Alliance. With that said, I have no problem, to paraphrase Brother Andrew, with preaching the Gospel every day and occasionally using words. Please don't misunderstand, though: I am a broken man who daily needs both grace and mercy in large amounts.

Let's move on to the problem at hand. The band Casting Crowns said it best in their song, Jesus, Friend of Sinners:

Jesus, friend of sinners, we have strayed so far away.
We cut down people in Your name,
But the sword was never ours to swing

Jesus, friend of sinners, the truth's become so hard to see.
The world is on their way to You,
But they're tripping over me.

Christians are on a crusade to win hearts for Jesus, but fail to present even a reasonable-looking witness. On top of this, we expect the lost to follow God's rules even if they don't believe He exists, let alone that He loves them. We yell "Repent ye heathens!" without empathy, and at the same time our own lives are barely different from anyone else.

Stop for a moment right now. Re-read that last paragraph and spend some time thinking how that might apply to you. Ask God to show you, if necessary. It was certainly eye-opening for me.

What Others See

What non-believers think of us and what we think of ourselves are worlds apart, and we have completely missed this. I often run in social circles that are very much not the company of believers, and the collection of words I frequently see used to describe Christians are less than attractive:

• Judgmental

• Racist

• Hateful

• Bigoted

• Hypocrites

• Blind

Don't believe me? Then why would NPR have an article entitled "White Supremacist Ideas Have Historical Roots in U.S. Christianity"? What about the news coverage that ensued when a baker in Indiana refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple on religious grounds? Of course, I don't need to include the many scandals caused by televangelists like Jim Bakker and sexual misconduct accusations leveled against the clergy. These don't give believers a bad name, either. Right. Do I need to go on here? And just so I'm clear here, at least in my own personal experience, believers who belong to denominations that push holiness and righteousness are the biggest offenders, particularly in the legalism department.

If I've managed to push a few of your buttons, please take a moment to regroup and come back later, if necessary. It's hard sometimes to hear truth, especially when it hurts or touches close to home.

A Problem of Perspective

One reason we lack empathy is because accommodating diversity is a lot of work. Imagine for a moment visiting a place where you don't look like most of the people living there. For the purposes of this article, I'll pick Japan. Think of all the ways that Japanese culture is different from American culture. If you are like me and know next to nothing, skim this over to get a bit of an idea. Now imagine how hard it would be to move from the United States to Japan and live there for a year. It makes me tired just thinking about it.

If you're a member of the cultural majority, it's easy to assume that others think the way you do. If you're in the minority, you are frequently reminded of it. Because believers are quite common in the U.S., it's not as hard to find people who at least think the same way you do in a general sense. According to the Public Religion Research Institute, in 2020 two-thirds of the U.S. population identified as having a faith that falls under the guise of Biblical Christianity. Using these statistics, if I sat down in a room with 9 other people that represented the religious demographics of the U.S., 3 others would be white Christians, 3 more would be Christians of color, 2 wouldn't have any faith in particular (or might be an atheist or agnostic), and the last person would follow another faith, like Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, or Judaism. Now imagine this was the board of a business of some kind. What kinds of conversations would follow if all the Christians banded together and created new policies that banned hiring married homosexuals? Consider the consequences -- legal, relational, and otherwise -- especially if the decision somehow affected one or more of the 3 remaining board members.

A Thought Experiment

Having an unshakable trust in a God who loves us can make it hard put yourself in the shoes of someone who doesn't believe in anything. Let's do a thought experiment. What if God didn't exist? What if the Big Bang and evolution was true and the Bible was just a bunch of stories? In such a scenario, humankind is in charge. People with power get to decide what's right and wrong, and they can compel everyone else to follow or revolt. Existence has no intrinsic meaning. Abortion is no longer a debate about the sanctity of life because there isn't any such thing--it's all a matter of opinion. I can do what I want as long as it's legal or I don't get caught. If it feels good, do it. Why not? If I cease to exist once I die, doing everything I can to enjoy the time I have is logical. God has all the power, makes all the rules, and gives people purpose. Without Him, anything goes as far as the human race is concerned and Sin doesn't exist. These are legitimate logical conclusions for someone who doesn’t believe in God. Thankfully, a complete lack of morality is few and far between -- just because someone doesn't believe in moral absolutes doesn't mean they are completely amoral. Many of my friends and family who don't believe are very respectable people who show more integrity than some believers I've met.

Let's now discuss an encounter with some Christians that a guy named Joe had. Without giving you his entire life story, Joe isn't sure if God exists, but he thinks that if God does, He doesn't obviously care about Joe. One day he walks into an adult bookstore and a little later discreetly leaves with a bag containing a purchase of some kind. On his way out, he discovers that while he was shopping, some "church people" with signs started protesting near the entrance. They carry signs that say "Porn is Sin" and other messages against the store and its contents. He feels genuinely threatened, and as he tries to hurry past them without meeting eye contact, someone calls out "Sir, you need Jesus!" For someone who isn't at all sure about God, this is both socially uncomfortable and offensive. As far as Joe is concerned, he isn't hurting anyone and he hasn't broken any laws, so why are these people making him feel like a horrible person? If this is how Christians act, Joe doesn't want anything to do with them.

Christians and Politics

The political landscape in the last decade has changed dramatically. Racists have seen greater tolerance, and tribalism has become more extreme: if someone thinks differently from you, they are evil and should be ostracized, exiled, or even killed. In case you think I’m exaggerating, Dr. Anthony Fauci received death threats because of his high-profile statements during the COVID pandemic in 2020 and his daughters were harassed. No one is listening, and everyone is yelling that the other side is Out to Get Us and Our Way of Life while conveniently forgetting their own flaws and those of others in their tribe.

Depending on whom you ask, the rise of the Christian Nationalism movement is either encouraging or disturbing. If you're a believer, this means that Biblical values are being threatened less. We have a greater chance of finally abolishing the murder of unborn children. The thought that girls can be boys and boys can be girls can be squashed. America can be one nation under God again. If, however, you don't follow Jesus, this means that women don't have a choice in making medical decisions about their own bodies. Fascists are gaining power. Books are being censored or burned. Corporations, the wealthy, and the powerful can be given even more options to abuse the middle class and ignore the poor. Some believe that Christian nationalism is a threat to democracy itself. Based on how some American politicians behave, the belief is credible. From either point of view, critical issues are at stake.

Your Witness

Believers need to be more self-aware. When Christians use the word integrity, they usually mean a quality of living right in God's eyes. The word can also be used to refer to a lack of defects, such as the structural integrity of a brick wall or a ship's hull. Think about that for a moment. That could also be used to describe a person's life -- a lack of defects. It reminds me very much of a passage of Scripture:

You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by people.

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Your light must shine before people in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 5:13-16, NASB

It makes me sad when I see friends or family post inflammatory content to social media, like clever quotes or pictures that mock or insult people on the other side of the political spectrum. Some of them are believers that I hold in high regard, and it's really hard for me to understand when those same people post something like LET'S GO BRANDON on their timeline. If you are familiar with the backstory behind that phrase, you know that it isn't kind. What kind of witness to our faith is this? We need to choose carefully the people and the organizations we choose to align ourselves with and how we show our support for them.

I can't understate how critical it is for us to rethink how we reach out to others who are different from us. A good friend of mine told me once that "people don't care what you know until they know that you care." I'm so glad I listened and never forgot that hard-learned lesson. If I'm really lost but don't know it yet, I don't want people yelling at me. I've already got enough problems without someone actively making me feel like a terrible person on top of it. I can guarantee you that if you yell at me, I’ll get defensive instead of listening. A church friend of mine recently told me a story of a time when he was out sightseeing by himself in a city in the South and stumbled into a Pride rally. My friend noticed that there was a man at the fringes with a bullhorn who was preaching a 'fire and brimstone' message of repentance to them. Yes, he was speaking truth, but if you stop and think about it for a bit, how effective do you think he really was? That certainly doesn't sound like love to me. It sounds more like seeing people without seeing brothers, sisters, friends, and family. Empathy is sorely missing from far too many conversations.

Final Thoughts

If you've read this far, thank you for sticking with me to the end. If you know someone who needs to hear this, please consider carefully sharing it with them in kindness, compassion, and love. No one wants to be corrected, but everyone occasionally needs food for self-reflection. Most of all, the Great Commission wasn't a suggestion, and neither were the two commandments to love God and love people.